I Didn’t Expect to Miss That…

When you move to New York – you learn what being “broke” really looks like. They say that you don’t miss a good thing until it’s gone. Welp, same goes for mediocre things. Here is a list of things, most of which cost less than $10, I can (kinda) live without but wish I didn’t have to:

Coffee Creamer: I like coffee black but I prefer it with cream. I do need to invest in creamer though because I’d save [a ton of] money in the long run by not buying coffee by the cup…

Food that is not noodles, bread, or peanut butter: Enough said.

Hand Soap: I have about three pumps left. Soon-to-be-dirty fingers crossed for good tips this weekend.

Gum: Dirty mouth? Not really – but I’d still like to clean it up with Orbit.

Clean Laundry: Okay this one only half counts. When I didn’t have clean laundry back in college it was because I was lazy. Here, I don’t have the luxury of being lazy, so I have dirty laundry because of other reasons (I would say “money and time” here but your response will be, “I get it – you’re poor and busy! Tell me something I don’t know/ am not also experiencing”).

A Fresh Razor: Have you seen that new commercial with the guy who travels the world for five weeks with a Gillette razor and it lasts the entire time? That’s me - but twice as long and only in one place.

A New iPhone Case: Mine broke. Too bad, so sad.

A Blanket: Okay, well luckily this one has been taken care of since I brought one from home last week. Before that though I had two sheets and was freezing. But I am not here to complain.

Brand Cereal: I’m really over Fruity Loopies, Chocolate-Os, and Honey Oat Clusters.

The Ice Cream Truck: Okay, this isn’t really something I’m missing from home but I am for sure missing out on it here. I see at least two ice cream trucks a day and I really, really want a cone…

A day in the life of a 20-Something New Yorker

A Day In The Life…

7:20 – Alarm goes off.

7:21 - Check social media – Instagram, Twitter, Facebook (in that order).

7:22 – Be upset that more people didn’t upload pictures to Instagram between the hours of midnight and 7 a.m. Those who didn’t post while I was fast asleep = selfish.

7:28 – Turn on shower.

7:28 still – Look in mirror and realize I need to shave. Turn off shower.

7:34 – Turn on shower —> Lather. Rinse. Don’t repeat.

7:42 – Look for something to wear in pile of dirty clothes because I can’t afford to do laundy. Think, “Even if I did have $10 I don’t have the time.”

7:48 - Slip on shoes and think, “I really should eat something before I leave…”

7:49 – Leave without eating.

7:53 – On walk to subway station think to self, “I wonder if this is where they filmed the Rihanna ‘What’s my Name’ video…?”

7:56 – Ignore the lady trying to shove A.M. New York in my hand outside the subway station.

8:01 – Get on train. Read A.M. New York over someone’s shoulder.

8:12 – Transfer to an express train. Be as close as physically possible and as far as emotionally possible with the four strangers around me.

8:28 – Arrive to Times Square Station.

8:31 – Try to beat the arrival of the Shuttle from Grand Central as to not get stuck in a flood of human bodies.

8:32 – Get stuck in a flood of human bodies. Hate life.

8:36 – Walk out of subway station and take for granted working in Times Square.

8:37 – Tell myself that I don’t need (and can’t afford) Starbucks and I’ll just get coffee in the office.

8:46 – Walk out of Starbucks with a sugary latte. Remind self to develop a back bone.

8:53 – Walk into the office. Feel insecure about how everyone is dressed better than I am.

8:59. Check e-mail. Check social media – Instagram, Twitter, Facebook (in that order).

9:00 - Be upset that more people didn’t upload pictures to Instagram since 7:21. Those who didn’t post while I was on the train = selfish.

9:01 – 10:13 – Do interny things.

10:14 – Go grab coffee from the kitchenette. Put extra whole milk in cup so I can take a little drink before I add the coffee. Hope not to get caught.

10:15 – Head back to desk and pass someone who is dressed hella awesome. Remind self to be insecure.

10:16 – Noon – Do more interny things.

12:01 – Head down to get lunch or walk around Times Square.

12:16 – Head to Oren’s to get a free drink because I work there and they let me.

12:18 – Leave a small tip for coworkers.

12:21 – Walk back to office, drink in hand, and think, “Holy crap – I really do work in Times Square!”

12:23 – Get stuck behind slow-walking tourists and think, “Uh! I hate working in Times Square! Tourists are SOOOOO annoying.”

12:24 – Feel guilty for thinking that tourists are annoying.

12:36 – Check social media. Seek affirmation from other’s comments, likes, and messages.

12:42 – 5:00 – Do interny things.

5:11 – Walk down into Times Square Station

5:12 - Try to beat the depature of the Shuttle to Grand Central as to not get stuck in a flood of human bodies.

5:13 - Get stuck in a flood of human bodies. Hate life.

5:48 – Arrive at the 157th street stop.

5:53 – Tell myself that I don’t need a candy bar as I quickly approach Compare Foods.

5:54 – Walk into store.

5:54 - Think, “No, you can’t afford this.” Walk out of store with a back bone (my 8:46 a.m. self would be proud).

6:18 – By this point I’m settled into my bed with Hulu uploading NBC’s The Voice30 Rock or ABC’s Modern Family.

6:36 – Really regret not buying that candy bar.

7:49 – Three episodes of 30 Rock later think, “That is SO true. Living in New York is JUST like that. Tina Fey has it all right!”

7:50 – 11:03 – Spend time reading, writing, Facebook and Twitter stalking, watching Hulu, sulking in self pity and dreaming about the future.

11:04 – Lights out.

12:35 – Actually fall asleep.

10 Things I’d Like to Say to New York City

1. Yes, I do live in Harlem, and no I don’t feel like I’m going to get mugged every time I leave my house. But thanks for your concern.

2. New York, how do I determine if someone is old enough that I should offer them my seat on the subway? I just look around and think, “Is she old enough I should offer my seat… Or he old enough?” I have yet to offer my seat to a woman who I think is with child, and isn’t, but with my luck I know that awkward encounter is bound to come.

3. Are you sure I can’t control my own heat? This whole radiator thing isn’t working out. Too hot. Too cold. Too hot. Too cold. My relationship with the temperature in my room shouldn’t sound like the plot to a Katy Perry song.

4. If I were you I wouldn’t let people spit all over me… No, literally, people are spitting inside your subway stations – not cool.

5. Why do people put squirrels in coats and on leashes here? Oh, that was a dog?! Fooled me.

6. I wouldn’t hate seeing more street meat carts on every corner. That stuff be good. Just sayin’.

7. The Big Apple? The only big apples I have seen here have been bit off of and are hanging from glass storefronts full of computers. Over sized Granny Smiths or Golden Delicious are what I expected – kind of a let down.

8. Wiat, what? The excitement of taking a cab in the Big City goes away? What do you mean soon enough it will ‘just feel like another way to get from here to there’?

9. I can’t say that I’m surprised that you make fun of New Jersey more than the rest of the country. But is NJ really that bad?

10. Why must I be reminded every day that I sold out to The Man by seeing a Chase Bank and Starbucks every five blocks? I’m already laiden with guilt – let my just live me life!

My 10 Biggest New York City Dreams

Some of these are more obtainable than others, but that’s why it’s called my biggest dreams list.

1. To have my own Christmas Spectacular on Broadway - Classic, 1940s inspired, wholesome family Christmas show.

2. Be a New York Times Best Selling Author - I’ve got a couple ideas up my sleeve. One memior and one fiction.

3. To be a regular on or have my own super great TV show on NBC -Whether it be something like 30 RockSNL, Dateline NBC, or TODAY.

4. To live in an apartment big enough to hold a table for 8 - I want to be able to host people, especially while sitting around a table.

5. To start a successful media company - Again, I have a few ideas up my sleeve.Magazine. Marketing. Short film.

6. Be one of the celebrities they shoot and ask questions to turning the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade - They always seem so wholesome and “guy next door.”

7. Find the love of my life - Pretty, pretty please!

8. Receive a Master’s degree from NYU or Columbia - I wants two be really well edumicated.

9. Find a great nonprofit that I can dedicate time to - I want to find a place where I love to love, give back, and see wonderful things happening.

10. To find my Happily Ever After

10 Things I Didn’t Learn in School (But I am glad I know)

It’s no secret that education is one of the world’s greatest gifts (and needs). There are, however, many things that are not taught in a classroom – but they’re still very important for a person to know. Here are 10 things I am glad to know even if I didn’t learn them in a classroom. They may not be skills or qualifications to put on a resume, but they’re important nonetheless.

1. Networking - Even though I have only been in New York City a grand total of 19 days, I am starting to see that the phrase, “It’s all about who you know” rings true. Often times, especially at big corporations, people are able to get jobs by knowing someone. They are not unqualified for a position but since they know someone they’re able secure interviews and positions. People have told me that getting interviews is the hardest part of the job search. Others have encouraged me to feel good because I have secured five Big City interviews all on my own. Although, I am still searching for a full-time job.

2. Directions - I am not going to lie: I am happy that I’m not directionally challenged. I have friends that make me want to say, “Please her heart” when I talk about going somewhere with their directions. I remember learning a little bit about how to read a map in third grade, but for the most part directions weren’t covered – you either have the skills or you don’t, sorry. Luckily we have iPhones with a GPS in this day and age.

3. The Ability to Remember Names and Faces - Again, another natural gift. For those people who know me well, you know that I kinda have a freakishly weird memory. This comes in handy when meeting new people (but becareful not to freak them out the next time you see them by revealing that you remember a lot… kinda comes across as creepy), but DO make them feel appreciated by remembering a few little things about them. Good examples: Name (most important), hometown, and company they work for.

4. How to Coordinate Dress Clothes - Not sure where I learned this, perhaps it’s a mix between having two sisters and having subscribed to GQ for the past two and a half years. Now that I am out in the world trying to fulfill the answer to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I can actually look, and feel, like the grown up I’ve become.

5. Small Talk - Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. When meeting new people there are often super awkward silences. Fortunately, I have become fluent in the language of Small Talk. Some of my recent, most frequent Small Talkquestions have been:

How long have you lived in the city? Where are you from? Where do you work/ live? Where did you do your undergrad? Do these pants make me look fat, or is it my fat that makes me look fat?

Okay I lied, I’ve never actually used that last one.

6. How to Tie a Tie - I remember my English teacher in 8th grade trying to teach our entire class how to tie a tie; I’m sorry, Mr. Schaffer, but it didn’t stick. And the lesson I got on a double Windsor from a guy down the hall in my dorm is long forgotten. I really learned from my step dad, Mark, while going to a family wedding. I am still trying to perfect this art, but practice will make perfect.

7. How to Smile - “Smiling! Smiling’s my favorite!” - Buddy the Elf. “Do you know why I smile? Because it’s worth it.” - Marcel the Shell with Shoes. A dear friend of mine once gave a persuasive speech on why people should smile. Just do it – it’s universal.

8. How to be Patient with People - Between being a server, a life guard, a barista, and a camp counselor I have learned that sometimes people have a rough day and just need a little grace. Keep your cool and cut them some slack, you never know what they’re dealing with.

9.How to Order a Complicated Espresso Drink - How many times have you heard people in front of you order a drink that has about 10 words in it’s title or modifications? Lucky for me, I can translate. Is it a super applicable skill? No. Am I happy to have it? Yes.

10. How to Do Laundry - I started doing my own laundry in sixth grade; I have had many years experience. You won’t see me wearing a stained shift anytime soon.